That was what I did today when I logged onto WordPress. I started to write about something that happened last night in which I found out about today.
Then I erased it all.
Then I read some fellow bloggers posts and commented, liked, etc.
Now I am back to writing again. I started the same thing as I did before but erased it again. This is the way my mind is going today. Mad. Not mad. Mad. Not mad.
If I continue to regurgitate all the bad things that have been happening to me, will I ever get over them?
I love coming here for support. I love knowing that there are others out there that are going through the same thing as I am.
But do you REALLY want to know? Do you really want to know how much of an asshole my stbex is? I have no problems bashing him and the asinine choices that he makes in regards to the kids. This is the first time I’ve questioned whether or not to rant about him on here. It’s not that what he’s done is illegal or anything. I just feel like I don’t want to give it anymore energy. I will let my lawyer and law guardian do that.
I had my energy “grounded” on Friday morning. Strange.
It was the strangest experience I have ever been through. Lots of energy work. I felt like I was stoned afterward. Not a care in the world. My hands felt heavy and I was VERY dizzy. The hematite is a very strong stone for grounding ones energies. I really felt it. When I walked out of there, my senses were heightened. I saw nature differently. Heard the birds differently. It was incredible. She gave me a hematite for me to have on me to keep me grounded. Am I turning a corner? She told me that if anything happens to me, (emotionally) that I need to be aware that it is the stones energy that is helping me through it. Keeping me “grounded.”
I guess I could say that my reaction to this new piece of information that I learned from my kids was a result of the stone work. I didn’t snap. Although I DID text him some choice words and then blasted off an email to my lawyer.
I didn’t cry.
I didn’t fester in the pain that I am used to stewing in.
I am questioning if it’s even worth writing about the incident here.
Ahh well. Who knows how I will feel tomorrow…Right now I am listening to my kids laugh in the kitchen and NOT listening to the story play over and over in my head…