what a long, strange trip its been

It truly has been.  From devastation to recovery and everything in between. It has been a wild ride. Although I am not 100% detached from my story–I don’t think I ever will be-I am able to handle things with more grace than before. That angry, hot headed scorned ex wife is no longer. A newer, better version of myself has emerged.

I still get emotional sometimes. I cried little tears yesterday when I learned that their baby is being delivered on Monday. They were not big, wailing, crocodile tears that lasted for hours. Just a few trickled down to remind me of how far I have come and how far I have yet to go. I will pay myself on the back, however, because I HAVE SURVIVED.

Those three words. I HAVE SURVIVED. I never thought in a million years that I would have survived this. I did. It did not kill me. It did kill a naïve, weak, small version of myself. Thank you for that. However, it did not kill ME. I am stronger because of it.

Thank you to those of you on here–those complete strangers who knew how I felt. Who knew what to say to me at the right time. I don’t know you personally, but what you have done for me here, I will never forget.





Broken Open


I was given this book, Broken Open written by Elizabeth Lesser, from a dear friend who has/continues to watch my ride on this emotional roller coaster.

She’s seen me laugh.





She is a very calm person. Always seems to stay calm in the face of adversity. (Ok, she’s a 9th grade English teacher..Hard to stay “calm” at all times)

I am slightly jealous of her collected ways and her “inner peace.”

She always tells me, “walk when walking.”

Easier said than done.

Anyway, she found this great author, Elizabeth Lesser, who has written about “How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow.”

(Check her out here:http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Excerpt-from-Broken-Open-by-Elizabeth-Lesser)

My friend bought a copy for me and her. I have NOT been able to put this book down. As I am reading it I catch myself saying: “OH MY GOD! YES, THAT’S HOW I FEEL!

I can stock shelves of a self help bookstore. I’d order a book, read the first few pages and never look back. (Not ALL my books, just some) “It’s not the right time for me to be reading that”, I would think.

That is NOT the case with Broken Open. Please, if you need something that can pull you out of your suffering forever or just a few minutes, buy this book. You will NOT be disappointed!