It truly has been. From devastation to recovery and everything in between. It has been a wild ride. Although I am not 100% detached from my story–I don’t think I ever will be-I am able to handle things with more grace than before. That angry, hot headed scorned ex wife is no longer. A newer, better version of myself has emerged.
I still get emotional sometimes. I cried little tears yesterday when I learned that their baby is being delivered on Monday. They were not big, wailing, crocodile tears that lasted for hours. Just a few trickled down to remind me of how far I have come and how far I have yet to go. I will pay myself on the back, however, because I HAVE SURVIVED.
Those three words. I HAVE SURVIVED. I never thought in a million years that I would have survived this. I did. It did not kill me. It did kill a naïve, weak, small version of myself. Thank you for that. However, it did not kill ME. I am stronger because of it.
Thank you to those of you on here–those complete strangers who knew how I felt. Who knew what to say to me at the right time. I don’t know you personally, but what you have done for me here, I will never forget.
I HAVE SURVIVED.
A lot has changed in my life since my last post. I honestly don’t even know when I was on here last. My apologies.
My divorce was official in January of 2015. The year anniversary is coming up. It may have passed. I don’t know. All I know is that time heals some pain. Pain that I was feeling during this entire ordeal is not as severe as it was at once point.
I can breathe.
Sure it stings to know they my ex and his girlfriend are having a baby and living in my old house that I shared with him and my children.
But I survived.
I bought my own home around the corner. It’s a perfect house for the kids and me. The energy is better. It’s a happy little house.
I can breathe.
I’ve dated here and there—I’ve learned what I want and what I don’t want. I’ve learned what I deserve. That person hasn’t come along yet. I know the universe is working on it for me. I ask, I believe and I will receive.
I still harbor some anger and hatred towards my ex and her. I am really trying to work on that this year. I am trying to be in the present moment. Meditate. Be grateful each day for what the universe has given me. I am listening to The Secret during my 20 minute drive to work and back.