The Separation Anniversary

My feelings EXACTLY. Thank you Matt.

Must Be This Tall To Ride

She took off her wedding ring one year ago today.

That’s when I learned she did, anyway.

It was Easter Sunday, but nothing was coming back from the dead in our house.

…

I will probably be doing a lot of reflecting this week.

Lisa at Lessons From the End of a Marriage published an important post titled “When Will I Feel Better?” which tackles the question every person dealing with a life trauma wants the answer to.

A person doesn’t really understand the full spectrum of human feeling until they experience a great loss. Some people lose parents or siblings or friends or someone else close to them at a young age.

But their experiences, while unfair, raise an interesting question: Are they better equipped to deal with life trauma as an adult due to being tempered in fire at a young age?

Maybe.

But it doesn’t matter…

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Words.

I am not a writer. I am not pretending to be.
I wish I was a writer because it would be so beautiful to put into words what I am feeling.

SHITTY.

That’s not a beautiful word.

That’s a crappy word. But that is how I am feeling. I am filled with anxiety at this very moment and my heart feels like I just ran a marathon.
All because he is here. All because he makes my blood boil. How is this SHITTY feeling a blessing in disguise?

I lock myself in my room when he comes over to see the kids. I literally want to go downstairs and claw his face off for all the pain his choices have caused.

One bright spot—the kids are being terrible to him. My bit of instant karma.

things I enjoy

my twins.

my dogs.

my job.

wine.

the beach.

close friends.

family.

knitting.  (it’s very meditative…)

the smell of fresh cut grass.

a hug.

campfires.

smores.

When I’m feeling sad I will just keep adding to this list. What are some things that you enjoy?

It’s been a while

I can’t believe how long it has been since I have been on my blog. I read every one else’s blogs DAILY but never gave a second thought to my own.

My how much life has changed since then. My kids are now almost 6. I am in the midst of a divorce after my husband had multiple affairs and is now living with his girlfriend. (We’re still legally married) They are headed off to Florida tomorrow for a “vacation.” Gag.

My family is 2.5 hours away from here. I am most likely going to move and get the support I need at home. The only place I can heal is far, far away from here. Does anyone have any ruby glass slippers that I can borrow?

xo