Let’s take a break.

I mean from my story. I drove my father two hours for back surgery today. I cried when I left because I didn’t know if it would be the last time I would see him.

He has THE best neurosurgeon. ..works on Dallas Cowboys and plenty of NHL players.

A 66 year old Vietnam vet is right up there with them in my book. Number one.

I am sitting here (patiently) waiting for him to come up from recovery. He’s going to be in a lot of pain but his quality of life is going to sky rocket.

What is that? Another metaphor for my life? Wow. It literally just smacked me on the head as I sit in this cold hospital room…

My father endured years and years of pain in his lower back. Bone on bone with nerves pinched in between. They took out the broken pieces and replaced it with strong titanium mesh. He’ll be a new person….in about two weeks.

I am removing the broken and dead pieces from my life as well. The pieces that have caused me so much pain for all of these years.

Once I am strong like that titanium piece that is in my dad’s back, my quality of life with sky rocket too.

Bring it on Dr. M!

Transitions.

We have a student with Aspberger’s in one of the 9th grade English classes that I teach. He is notoriously late for class.

Every class.

Everyday.

He misses important info at the beginning of class then gets worked up because he doesn’t know what we are doing.

Transitions are not easy for him.

If I erased his Aspberger’s, would he still be doing this? I wish I could just jump inside his mind and figure it all out.

Transitions are not easy for me, either.

I hate change. Could I just take my time moving from one phase of my life to another? Go against the rules and respond to divorce papers on my time?

I hate change. I had this idea in my head (and promised to me in our wedding day almost 8 years ago) that we would grow old together and sit in rocking chairs on the porch enjoying life once the kids were grown.

Change. I have to transition to this “new life” that is not what I had hoped for.

I would like know why this student moves at his own pace.

He must hate change too. (I know children with Autism do not like change in their routine)

Each day I wake up and realize that I am one day closer to the end of it all. Makes me queasy. Even though he threw me on this roller coaster of emotions and life changes with no protection from falling to my death, I am still sad.

I am angry at him for the extremely sefish, irresponsible, immature choices he has made for our family. I actually despise him.

But I hate change.

Anyone have a late pass that I can use on life?